SMOOCHES from our Horsie has not always been easy to come by...
Autism has a way of taking those precious moments away from you SLOWLY and Heart breakily (If that is even a word). We lost our Horsie for a while...when it came to hugs and kisses...he would push us away...be almost REVOLTED by the possibility of it...
BUT the last few weeks there has been a change...
Horsie now when asked for a KISS gives it freely albeit quickly...
YAAAAAY!!!
But today he smooched without asking...he walked up to me and slid onto my lap and gave me a big kiss...we were spending some quality alone time watching DUMBO (one of his all time favourites...)
on my bed in my room...CHILLING...and it was sooo unexpected but...he did it!!!!
BIG LIP SMACKING SMOOCH!!!
This was the second time in 2 days...the night before I even got some TONGUE he he he he...
My ladybug...she is a smoocher of NOTE...anyone that knows me would easily say..."takes after her mother." She is such an angel pie...says I LOVE YOU so quick and with such conviction...so precious...
SMOOCHEROOOOS...
So thankful Horsie and Ladybug CAN give them....
Saturday 30 April 2011
Thursday 28 April 2011
SILLY NILLY Things we can all do...
Well I have just received my statement for MY SCHOOL SUPPORTERS CARD.
I have in the last month or so contributed R70 to Wiggles and Squiggles through MY School Supporters Club...this silly nilly little card although a little bit irritating to others behind me in the Woolies que, has given R70 to My Horsies school.
My heart leaps and I am sure we can all do our bit!
Please if you havent already got a myschool card...go to their website...www.myschool.co.za or send an email to cs@myschool.co.za with your details and choose a school to whom you can donate your shopping trips to...who will receive extra monies for their school and if you do not have any school in mind...
PLEASE PLEASE choose Horsies' WIGGLES AND SQUIGGLES in Boskruin.
You would be contributing to a school where miracles and possibility surround our kiddies! AND with your help small MIRACLES can become HUMUNGOUS!!!!
I have in the last month or so contributed R70 to Wiggles and Squiggles through MY School Supporters Club...this silly nilly little card although a little bit irritating to others behind me in the Woolies que, has given R70 to My Horsies school.
My heart leaps and I am sure we can all do our bit!
PLEASE PLEASE choose Horsies' WIGGLES AND SQUIGGLES in Boskruin.
Sunday 24 April 2011
CONGRATS TO STACEY VEE
WELL DONE STACEY on your blog being featured in LIVING AND LOVING! http://lionheartinourbathtub.blogspot.com/
You got my ball bouncing...never mind rolling...in starting my blog!
Mega doses of your humour, strength and resiliance has gone a long way to making my day...on numerous occassions.
Have a look at May 2011 addition of Living and Loving for other blogs featured such as Tertia Albertyn's http://www.tertia.org/ or Tanya Kovarsky's blog http://www.tanyakovarsky.wordpress.com/
Have a great May month everyone!!!
HOGWASH HAPPENS!!
Ok so the HOGWASH all our moms feed us about how wonderful, special and great it is to be a mother...well I think that on those days where all those fuzzy wuzzy tingling feelings are remembered and experienced are the ONLY times that our mothers' remember and then SPOON feed us as we grow, as we think about procreating...
If they fed us the real dirt on just how TOUGH, how much of yourself you sacrifice, how lost you feel at times and how much despair, inadequacy, and how utterly scared you are as a mother at times...we would NEVER really even think of opening our wombs for love, life and all that our beautiful horses and ladybugs offer.
Both my beauties are sick...YES AT THE SAME TIME!!! It is horrible because you cant fully give of yourself to both, and in this weather the CABIN FEVER is reaching EPIC A-BOMB levels!!!! Thank goodness for family and friends who rescue us in their special own ways. (you know who you are!!!!)
It is AWEFUL HARD to know why my horsie is feeling the way he is...all crazy and upside down...why? Because he CANT EXPRESS IT TO ME- HE CANT tell me! So I play a guessing game, which sometimes ends up with a BING BING light ringing mommy wins and so does Horsie cause we can work with what we know...but sometimes like today, we fall short, mommy loses, and the consequences is that - I got bitten twice today.
BITTEN - not in the nice sense like BELLA desires from EDWARD in Twighlight with romance seduction and HOT....mmmmm...(Keep it clean) but with FRUSTRATION and pure "YOUR NOT LISTENING TO ME" angst. Horsie bit down sore and hard on a region of my body which used to allow for his nourishment and care, but now shows all the signs of a mommy of two (try use your imagination here), as well as on my arm.
The pain at first although really EINA... fades... its the pain of realising he is FRUSTRATED and used his only method to get me to listen...as I wasnt before he bit me. I feel sorry for myself and escape to the bathroom...crying tears of anger, of hardship, of toughness...why me, why did I have to be "blessed" as everyone keeps reminding me of...of this freaking AUTISM!!!!! (Note my horsie - his AUTISM!)
My beautiful horsie...my boy...why? It is tough, it is hard, it is challenging, its definitely NOT for sissies!!! So this HOGWASH from our moms about how wonderous motherhood is...well...maybe due to either their brains wired differently to mine, or they choose to forget the tough times to rise above it, to remember the OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD times...
So yes I had a YUK day...it wont be the last...but I also have soooooo many super GREAT days...
So here is to the HOGWASH our mommies fed us and keep feeding us!!!
Without mommies we wouldnt be here, we wouldnt sacrifice, and we wouldnt LIVE life fully!
Here is to MOTHERHOOD
HERE IS to being SOLDIER GIRLS!!!
If they fed us the real dirt on just how TOUGH, how much of yourself you sacrifice, how lost you feel at times and how much despair, inadequacy, and how utterly scared you are as a mother at times...we would NEVER really even think of opening our wombs for love, life and all that our beautiful horses and ladybugs offer.
Both my beauties are sick...YES AT THE SAME TIME!!! It is horrible because you cant fully give of yourself to both, and in this weather the CABIN FEVER is reaching EPIC A-BOMB levels!!!! Thank goodness for family and friends who rescue us in their special own ways. (you know who you are!!!!)
It is AWEFUL HARD to know why my horsie is feeling the way he is...all crazy and upside down...why? Because he CANT EXPRESS IT TO ME- HE CANT tell me! So I play a guessing game, which sometimes ends up with a BING BING light ringing mommy wins and so does Horsie cause we can work with what we know...but sometimes like today, we fall short, mommy loses, and the consequences is that - I got bitten twice today.
BITTEN - not in the nice sense like BELLA desires from EDWARD in Twighlight with romance seduction and HOT....mmmmm...(Keep it clean) but with FRUSTRATION and pure "YOUR NOT LISTENING TO ME" angst. Horsie bit down sore and hard on a region of my body which used to allow for his nourishment and care, but now shows all the signs of a mommy of two (try use your imagination here), as well as on my arm.
The pain at first although really EINA... fades... its the pain of realising he is FRUSTRATED and used his only method to get me to listen...as I wasnt before he bit me. I feel sorry for myself and escape to the bathroom...crying tears of anger, of hardship, of toughness...why me, why did I have to be "blessed" as everyone keeps reminding me of...of this freaking AUTISM!!!!! (Note my horsie - his AUTISM!)
My beautiful horsie...my boy...why? It is tough, it is hard, it is challenging, its definitely NOT for sissies!!! So this HOGWASH from our moms about how wonderous motherhood is...well...maybe due to either their brains wired differently to mine, or they choose to forget the tough times to rise above it, to remember the OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD times...
So yes I had a YUK day...it wont be the last...but I also have soooooo many super GREAT days...
So here is to the HOGWASH our mommies fed us and keep feeding us!!!
Without mommies we wouldnt be here, we wouldnt sacrifice, and we wouldnt LIVE life fully!
Here is to MOTHERHOOD
HERE IS to being SOLDIER GIRLS!!!
Saturday 9 April 2011
TALKING and GONNA GET YOU GAME
TIRED...
Not because of Ladybug and Horsie who have been super good today...but tired because for a change
these last few days have been so FREEING...so Free in fact, that I feel a little more like the old "care-free" me, the me that doesnt worry constantly about Horsies progress, about what to do next (in the 10 million line therapy list), about Ladybug and her emotional, physical, cognitive development, about finances, about "WORK/LIFE/HOME everything FRIKKEN BALANCE, about when we might get to go on a really awesome holiday, about when there may be a gluten free, sugar free, wheat free, gliadin free, egg- white free, diary free cafe open with OT type equipment for Horsie to play on while I sip away at my new addiction in the form of de-caf cuppuchino...so just a little FREE of some of that....
Why do I feel free?
Well for starters...I do not know...
It may have to do with STN? (Sister Thrusday Nights, of which is an entire blog on its own-which ofcourse has become my survival weekly tool) or that a certain night with good friends made me realise just how far removed I have been from my authentic self (sound "oprahish" but so true), or that my mom (nana) our hero had some awesome feedback for us Friday.
Nana who has been on Horsie holiday DUTY for the past 2 weeks (boy does she need Urbanol and a looooong solitary holiday lol)...had the most wonderful "TALKING" day with our dude
on Friday. She sent me this sms at 11am Friday morning:
"Culley Just too clever he said "Kyou"(THANK YOU) this morning when I gave him his flapjacks and now in the shower, he clearly said HAPPY - he's been in there for 15 minutes already!"
Ok so I ask you...is there any better message any mamma could receive than THIS?
Wow wow wow! TAlking progress...and our speechie agress. She says horsie has had a break through...leaves me feeling WARM and FUZZY and appreciative.
So Free, free because I want to start acknowledging that MAYBE just MAYBE just in the far side of my heart I am allowing myself to begin to believe just a little that...we are slowly getting our beautiful HORSIE back...that just MAYBE we CAN ease his frustration, and believe that the power greater than ourselves is teaching us to TRUST and LET GO....BE FREE!!!!!!!
Not because of Ladybug and Horsie who have been super good today...but tired because for a change
these last few days have been so FREEING...so Free in fact, that I feel a little more like the old "care-free" me, the me that doesnt worry constantly about Horsies progress, about what to do next (in the 10 million line therapy list), about Ladybug and her emotional, physical, cognitive development, about finances, about "WORK/LIFE/HOME everything FRIKKEN BALANCE, about when we might get to go on a really awesome holiday, about when there may be a gluten free, sugar free, wheat free, gliadin free, egg- white free, diary free cafe open with OT type equipment for Horsie to play on while I sip away at my new addiction in the form of de-caf cuppuchino...so just a little FREE of some of that....
Why do I feel free?
Well for starters...I do not know...
It may have to do with STN? (Sister Thrusday Nights, of which is an entire blog on its own-which ofcourse has become my survival weekly tool) or that a certain night with good friends made me realise just how far removed I have been from my authentic self (sound "oprahish" but so true), or that my mom (nana) our hero had some awesome feedback for us Friday.
Nana who has been on Horsie holiday DUTY for the past 2 weeks (boy does she need Urbanol and a looooong solitary holiday lol)...had the most wonderful "TALKING" day with our dude
on Friday. She sent me this sms at 11am Friday morning:
"Culley Just too clever he said "Kyou"(THANK YOU) this morning when I gave him his flapjacks and now in the shower, he clearly said HAPPY - he's been in there for 15 minutes already!"
Ok so I ask you...is there any better message any mamma could receive than THIS?
Wow wow wow! TAlking progress...and our speechie agress. She says horsie has had a break through...leaves me feeling WARM and FUZZY and appreciative.
So Free, free because I want to start acknowledging that MAYBE just MAYBE just in the far side of my heart I am allowing myself to begin to believe just a little that...we are slowly getting our beautiful HORSIE back...that just MAYBE we CAN ease his frustration, and believe that the power greater than ourselves is teaching us to TRUST and LET GO....BE FREE!!!!!!!
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