Trying to mommy up from woesy to warrior...really stretching

SO ITS BEEN what seems like a solar system (OK trying) today at this point to be witty...
I'm failing miserably

Its been a long time since my last post.
So much to share...

First I have been through the most strenuous day in a long time, my ladybug had SERIOUS surgery
for spider bites today.
I had a pity party and asked the usual WHY ME questions WHY HER...WHY NOW? all of which echos back empty with no actual answers...
so why do we ask these questions?

It happened...we waited paced up and down the corridor, clock watched...

I made the hospital bracelets of which she had 3 in white pink and yellow seem like the latest french cutoure, the cot bed with its steel side bars seem like "CARS" latest game and the theatre garb I dressed in to carry my beautiful bug to the table...as the funniest thing I could ever wear...

And all through my insanity and craziness...my little ladybug smiled and with her deer eyes TRUSTED ME...

I quiver, I shake but in those moments I WAS HER WARRIOR...
No fear here.

But as I write this in the lazyboy...which many many previous worried sick mommies have sat in...I can only be glad that in some sense, even if it was only the tiny tiniest part of me (the cave woman part) was SUPER HERO albeit for those fleeting moments.

Please let me keep finding those warrior soldier moments within me to deal with the next few days!!
maybe I need to start channeling Joan of ark or....I don't know most of all my other incredible mommies I know - one of which is my OWN mommy.