"Perseverance"

Ok so perseverance...
According to an online dictionary (because time right now is VERY PRECIOUS), perseverance is defined as a "steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement."
Well well well...
REALLY?
I think I am one mommy of many (whom I have got to know through our beautiful angel school sent from Heaven with angelic teachers and principals.)
who struggle so much to persist, to have tenacity, pertinacity  be resolute and unyielding holding on, follow a course of action.

"Perseverance  commonly suggests activity maintained in spite of difficulties or steadfast and long-continued application." Jeeez we are perseverance soldiers.

It has been a challenging time for us with horsie and ladybug. Believe me...and so when that word/action comes up I am all to happy to hear what people say regarding it.

I read an article by Judith Ancer in the Sunday Times (She is an Educational Psychologist) last weekend, that described how a parents' MOST important value should be perseverance.

Does she realise what she is asking?
Raising our horsie who has Autism, and our ladybug who also now has Asthma (and I suspect food allergies), that is ALL WE FOCUS ON - is PERSEVERANCE, PATIENCE AND LOVE!!

If we do not follow through with our bio-medical approach with him, his gut (TUMMY/COLON) lining will not heal and his immunity and brain will be subjected to a barrage of toxins, bacteria, pollutants and alike, for all time, losing him completely forever in a FOG of opiates (Wheat, Sugar, Soya, Diary) that just send him into drunk enduced spinning and laughing, which seems altogether something out of MY WORST NIGHTMARE!!!

So yes MS. Ancer I KNOW PERSEVERANCE!!! And guess what its only our beginning - we are looking at ABA THERAPY- SPEECH THERAPY - which involves repetitive, very interactive one-on-one intensive sessions, to enable our horsie who has (APRAXIA) a type of motor planning disorder related to speech. Its exhausting and requires hours upon hours of perseverance. So YES  YESand YES AGIAN...we know all too well about PERSEVERANCE!

Yesterday while shopping for my maybe 8000 packet (I don't really know the number but fear it may be round this number) of nappies for my Horsie, when I came across a mommy in the BABY CITY, almost yelling at her sweet TALKING inquisitive child, to STOP IT STOP IT!!! It gnawed away at me - I almost and those who know me - know this would not have been a problem to do - but I almost grabbed the silly idiot mother by the pony tail, and said, JUST ANSWER YOUR CHILD - JUST SPEAK WITH HER - She is trying to gain your attention, your approval - YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO Blessed you IDIOT for a child who CAN talk - WHO WANTS TO COMMUNICATE and LEARN with her enquiring CLEAR FOG FREE BRAIN!!!!

But I thought...nope this is my stuff, this is my work, to stand in this que, WATCH and realise that we are different, we deal with different issues at different times and stages, and that's ok!!

Perseverance...well that's high on my "I'M DOING IT LIST"!!
PATIENCE THAT is still on "I'M WORKING AT IT" LIST and LOVE WELL LOVE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE!!!

HERE IS to tenacity, persistence and unyielding love, patience and perseverance!
Horsie and ladybug  the great Teachers of my life.
 

Broken Boobie

One of the MOST excruciating pains of having our HORSIE is the occasional boob BITE!!!!
Let me tell you...ok some of you may be laughing so hard you cant read any more...
but let me tell you...it HURTS DAMIT!!!

I am on boobie bite number 4!!!!
Somehow Horsie manages to bite down hard either just on the softest of my boob flesh or
even once on my nipple.
Now for an almost 5 year old...(Horsie is 5 in 2 weeks) this ain't pleasant!!!

What is even less pleasant is not the blood pouring or oozing depending on the severity and depth of his gnasher bite...
Its my total OVER REACTION...
I am shameful...it is shameful...
I know our boy does this in times of PAIN, stress, excitement or exhaustion...
and you would think by the 4th bite I would be able to resist my over reaction...
and NOT Swear...not feel completely HURT and feel sorry for myself...

But no...I think even if it was the 29th time...I would hurt.
And not just physically (it takes a few days to heal - and it looks nothing like a love bite or "hickey" as we all used to call it - but it hurts emotionally too.

It hurts because again...I have to confront the fact that our horsie does pain, does have stress, does get over tired, over excited and instead of being able to TELL ME, SCREAM AT ME - he BITES...how ironic that its the boobie bite that is most painful, almost like he intuitively knows, that is my real SOFT SPOT!

I don't know what was bothering Horsie today, but he was a tad bit aggressive...which is not him usually...
A common issue with children with Autism is GI PAIN (Colon, gastro- intestinal pain) and I suspect that is what it was...how excruciating...
I eventually gave him a voltaren suppository to help him - for relief - he cant take any panado only ibuprofen or voltaren.

He is resting now and seems happier than he has been all day...
And me...
Well I am nursing a broken boobie...
and my heart hurts a little too!