ENOUGH NOW

I have had just about enough of 2011...
Its been the toughest year since 2006...
I mean how much can one family endure..and yes I specifically used that word ENDURE not the phrase "deal with"...because at this moment that is how I feel.

The loss of two grandparents, work issues, relationships issues, kiddies in hospital, hi-jacking, new jobs, and SPIDER BITES...
YES me too...I have had just about enough now!

I am sick with 2011...
but then I need to remember with all the YUK came lots of goodness too...

U2 concert, hearing my SISTER fell pregnant with a baby girl, my hubby and I getting new good jobs (out with old in with the new), being able to enrol our ladybug in the new Trinity House campus, getting a new car, nana kicking ass in her para-legal studies, me getting my honours CUM LAUDE, the beautiful people who helped in our first Golf Day, the Elvis fundraiser, the Barnyard Fundraiser, winning free tickets to two different shows, the various other concerts we attended (Kings of Leon being one of them), going to Cape Town on some superb Psychiatry training, getting our HORSIE even more intensive therapy from Reva, Louise, Hannah, (soon Juliet) and Wiggles...

And I am sure I am leaving out so much...
So...
When I look at the list...
It seems I am more blessed and should be THANKFUL!
Cathartic, helpful, needed...

The NEW babysitter

So you know every single "new Age" parenting book refers to the issue of TV being a "monster" and NOT to be used as a babysitter for our children...

Well I don't disagree at all...but in the midst of getting home and the "suicidal hours" that almost zap the very last bit of energy never mind sanity out of me between the hours of 5 to 9pm...I need some kind of crutch.

I am sure a half an hour of "EDUCATIONAL" purposeful BARNEY or an HOUR of Nemo/Cars/Happy Feet/Tangled won't harm, while you THE SUPER MOM -  cook ( a nutritious balanced super filled anti-oxidant, good protein meal), pack bags, run bath, read newsletters, potty train, play, pour tea, do washing, sweep the floor (from the biscuit snack or nut snack or biltong snack you have just given), push kids on the swing, jump on the trampoline, play some more, change nappies, make rice milk, boil water (to put in the fridge as drinkable good water for later), add Epsom salts/Himalayan salt to the bath water, sort clothing draw, make beds, clean dinner table, pour more tea.

I am sure in those moments the TV seems just like a piece of DISTRACTION HEAVEN...
So please book people (writers/authors/experts) try to keep the INSANITY of our mother's in mind when you preach that TV should NOT be a babysitter...

I have an alternative which for me was not something I DISCOVERED...my lady bug and Horsie did it all on their own.

The NEW babysitter in our house is the TUMBLE DRYER!

Yes you heard me...the dryer, with lady bug "pretend playing" its her shop/room/storage unit, and just recently her BED...she crumpled herself into the dryer and said "hi mommy, look at me! with the biggest smile on her face."

That lasted all of two seconds til our Horsie climbed on top of the dryer ( his usual FUN, he is a climber, and will do whatever it takes to fulfill this NEED, with whatever appliance, furniture piece, wall...actually whenever and on whatever he can).

He accidentally in his accent switched on the DRYER, well I have never seen lady bug jump so fast, she LEPT out...

So there goes my babysitter...so I guess its back to the fabulous TV as a babysitter.

No judgement please its all in the name of MENTAL HEALTH - MINE (and to a lesser extent the Horsie and Ladybug.)

LIfe's Quirks

Ok so I do not for the life of me remember it being this HOT when we were small!
I have been on training in Cape Town and the weather was glorious (although some will beg to differ with me). You see I still think I should have been a NORTHERN HEMISPHERE girl...I enjoy a bit of cold...
In fact I HATE BEING HOT!
I sweat, I smell, I feel like I am going to overheat (COMBUST) and I ALMOST LOSE my mind...and with my training in the beautiful Cape...(which included lots of interesting information on serotonin and dopamine) I began to wonder if returning to GAUTENG was best idea in terms of my state of mind...

I mean the heat on the weekend was UNBEARABLE...so much so that I began to feel as if I was losing the few firing neurons I had left. The kids were hot, listless and irritated, and as a colleague of mine said, "beneuked and bedonerd." (love the Afrikaans language its just so descriptive, rich and to the point! - hope I spelt that right)

And when I am HOT and bothered and IRRITATED...this does not bode well for the rest of the family.
I was stressed...
Having spent an entire week away from home (NO NOT A HOLIDAY - please let me remind you- it was training, intense brain saturating training) and not seeing the babies, hubby or the rest of my family (my sis, my mom dad etc) I am sure they expected this mommy, daughter, friend full of energy and happy, and all I was to be brutal, was HOT, UNHAPPY and sance energy!!

HORRIBLE HORRIBLE mix to an already stressed little ladybug and Horsie who just wanted all of me...missed me and needed some mamma love.

Sunday night came and I lost the plot...it was the end of a PHEW weekend, and
Scenes of Psycho (the movie) began running through my head...just 10 min of sleep, rest, NOTHINGNESS was all I was after...

And then this morning...the rude realisation of exactly why I felt so panicked and stressed, hot, tired, moody and just NOT me....HIT and it HIT HARD
HORMONES...(there it is again...that serotonin, dopamine etc etc)

Unforgiveable, unavoidable 28 day (sometimes more sometimes less) pattern to every women's life...

NEW NOVEMBER is here...gonna try run with it.. as soon as I get over these next few days...

LOVE YOU Horsie and BUG...mom will try to kick against her body's internal rhythm..and get to her good self again.

Sweet Smell of Angels

So the last few weeks have been a SERIOUS ROLLERCOASTER...
Here goes J in Hospital for her spider bites, then C in hospital for Bronchial Pneumonia, me starting a new job, hubby settling in his new job, having a wonderful fundraiser at barnyard (CRESTA), going to see Kings of Leon and finally this week culminating in J having about a 8cm cotton-wool something being pulled from her left nostril by her teacher...

Tomorrow we off to SIN CITY for a night, and then I fly to cape Town for training for a week with my new company.

It feels sometimes that the world has stopped and I keep turning...almost like the spinning Horsie does to regulate. I feel at times so out of control and yet...having to play warrior!

What amazes me is what an impact our Horsie has on people.
At the Barnyard - I gave a little speech (so unusual for me...NOT) I feel my little crusade that education, tolerance and above all UNDERSTANDING is so important it surpasses all else...and feel in every opportunity MY IN BRED INSTINCTUAL NEED to share, to share our life, our challenges, our fears our triumphs...and in for this reason why I blog (well and selfishly its cathartic too.)

An unknown who attended the barnyard last week, not part of OUR 140 STRONG CROWD was so moved by C and our story, that he donated there and then with TEARS in his eyes, now nothing nothing comes close to seeing a grown man who is not related, tears in his eyes saying how he is moved by us...BY US???WOW!

And then another stranger... did the same...

It just makes me realise and breathe in the sweet smell of angels...all around us in all shapes and forms.

And just like that night, this week again confronted with a sweet angel in the form of ladybug's teacher who all on her own managed to pull out some "cotton-wool" like thingy from my child's nose...I was beginning to think, NO I did think...that October was HELLOWEEN month for us, both kids in hospital in one month...ABSURD!!! Teacher even said, "NO MORE hospitals - Its November!"

One comparison I can make after this little experience, is that the lazy boy chairs at Flora are much more new comfy and better, than the ones at Olivedale although both hospitals were so great! Our doctors well -angels!!! Thank you!!!

So you will for give me for having some "radio silence" as good blog friend of mine describes...

We were just taking in the sweet smell of ANGELS!!!