Broken Boobie

One of the MOST excruciating pains of having our HORSIE is the occasional boob BITE!!!!
Let me tell you...ok some of you may be laughing so hard you cant read any more...
but let me tell you...it HURTS DAMIT!!!

I am on boobie bite number 4!!!!
Somehow Horsie manages to bite down hard either just on the softest of my boob flesh or
even once on my nipple.
Now for an almost 5 year old...(Horsie is 5 in 2 weeks) this ain't pleasant!!!

What is even less pleasant is not the blood pouring or oozing depending on the severity and depth of his gnasher bite...
Its my total OVER REACTION...
I am shameful...it is shameful...
I know our boy does this in times of PAIN, stress, excitement or exhaustion...
and you would think by the 4th bite I would be able to resist my over reaction...
and NOT Swear...not feel completely HURT and feel sorry for myself...

But no...I think even if it was the 29th time...I would hurt.
And not just physically (it takes a few days to heal - and it looks nothing like a love bite or "hickey" as we all used to call it - but it hurts emotionally too.

It hurts because again...I have to confront the fact that our horsie does pain, does have stress, does get over tired, over excited and instead of being able to TELL ME, SCREAM AT ME - he BITES...how ironic that its the boobie bite that is most painful, almost like he intuitively knows, that is my real SOFT SPOT!

I don't know what was bothering Horsie today, but he was a tad bit aggressive...which is not him usually...
A common issue with children with Autism is GI PAIN (Colon, gastro- intestinal pain) and I suspect that is what it was...how excruciating...
I eventually gave him a voltaren suppository to help him - for relief - he cant take any panado only ibuprofen or voltaren.

He is resting now and seems happier than he has been all day...
And me...
Well I am nursing a broken boobie...
and my heart hurts a little too!

IT HAPPENED!!

IT HAPPENED!
Horsie finally TODAY pulled me by the finger - which he does to show you what he wants.
BUT TODAY it wasnt just for something to eat or drink or to push him on the swing.
HE TOOK ME TO THE TOILET...

Now I know I seem a little STRANGE to be excited about this progessive move.
But Horsie doesnt do Toilets and at his weight almost 26 KG, and almost 5 years old- nappy changing is becoming a bit "HEAVY"
(Pardon the pun)
So I opened the door (We keep it closed as Toilets can be seen as a water playing haven) AND
He was tugging at his pants and I realised
BING BING...

HE WANTS TO USE THE BIG WHITE PORCELAIN TOILET


So I quickly pulled down his nappy and pants and helped him sit
HE DID IT
He made his number 2 and a little number 1....

MY BOY USED it!!!!
He actually got my attention - took me to the spot and used it in the way it should be...
(MAYBE years from now - he will hug it after a few too many - I dont know Amstels)
BUT MY HORSIE actually "PLANNED" his need and followed each step to the end.

THIS IS A MAJOR break through...

Although it didnt happen again for the REST OF THE DAY
IT SHOWS PROGRESS
For all the hours Wiggles and Squiggles have put in
For the last few weekends WE have tried...

IT SMACKS OF POWER
HORSIE POWER

SO PROUD...
LETS MAKE IT A HABIT!

When pigs fly...NO when time flies

I want to so much be able to blog more often - but it seems as if my day job is just NOT co-operating!
Anyway now that I have that off my conscious...I can tell you the real motivating reason I needed to blog today!!!

Yesterday Ladybug and I lay in bed and munched breakies (Cereal and tea) and we watched. "under the Tuscan Sun."I know ironic for Women's day...LOVE BEING IRONIC!  Ok so it is a real girlie 'coming of age or maturity" however you want to view it "chick flick."
And would you believe it ...
I CRIED...

Yes...
But...
Not for the reasons most women may cry in this particular movie...
But as is custom in every way...in every instance...I am reminded of just HOW DIFFERENT our lives are..my horsie's life is.

There is a particular part where (toward the end of the girlie pop movie) the main character realises the WISH she wished all along about having a wedding and raising a family in her Tuscan Villa, was now complete - but the tweak to this was that, it was NOT in the way she thought initially.

The same realisation dawned on me - wow - wow -wow!!

I mean here I was my entire life preparing for my Horsie, and for my ladybug - without ever fully realising it.
My psychology studies, my friendship with my cousin who has Autism (since we were babies ourselves), my career choice in pharmaceuticals, my interest in diet, food, supplements, my best friend (STN my sanity saver), my renovation of my house (all on one level, tiles and VERY CHILD FRIENDLY!) my family, my mother being 1m away if need be, the therapists Ive met along the way, the angels at Wiggles and Squiggles, the friends who I hold dear, EVERYTHING...

It all in that moment, as the movie character realised her life was what she wished for...but maybe not in the way she expected...it all, came flooding in...that was my life...

A life anything but what I imagined...a life where pigs MAY JUST FLY, where time is such a precious precious sacred INVESTED "jewel"..even more so with every passing day!

Horsie is turning 5 soon..
5

When time flies...
Let this next YEAR...allow HORSIE to fly...
Potty TRAINED and communicating basics...
Now let that be MORE than I imagined...let that be my Tuscan Villa my happy place.